Inside the Secret Struggle That Nearly Broke Gucci Mane

Behind the diamond chains and chart-topping successes, Gucci Mane He was fighting a battle he knew little about, a battle that would have nearly destroyed him.

The rapper revealed his long, secret struggle with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, highlighting years of chaos, confusion and courage.

Now, with the love of his wife, Keshia Kaoirhe tells the story on his own terms.

Gucci Mane has never looked back from his past, but his new memoir, “Episodes: Diary of a Recovering Madman,” represents his most personal exploration yet.

For the first time, the Atlanta rapper has spoken out about his diagnosis of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, two conditions that have shaped much of his turbulent journey through fame, addiction and redemption.

During an emotional interview with “The Breakfast Club” on October 20, Gucci and his wife, Keshia Ka’oir, spoke about the dark days leading up to his recovery.

Kaoir, 40, explained how she learned to recognize when an episode was coming on.

“I have a system,” she said. the people. “I remove his apps from his phone. First thing I do, I delete Instagram. I delete everything. Even if I had to change his password, I would change it because I don’t want the public to know he’s having an episode.”

She added: “I control that. You don’t use Instagram, you don’t use Twitter, it’s been deleted. I control everything in the house. Now, before the episodes come, I catch them. That’s why he didn’t have another one. How you pick it up is he doesn’t talk to you, he wants to be left alone, he doesn’t eat, he doesn’t sleep. Texting, there’s a period after every word.”

For Gucci, these rings seemed like entering another dimension. He explained that he would feel as if he was in a “psychosis” or “distorted world” and would hear voices inside him that would make him feel that people were against him.

When those moments came, Kawir switched into what she called “mom mode.”

She takes control not only of the situation, but also of the house, the atmosphere, and the emotional space Gucci Mane needs to survive.

“It was really bad,” she recalled. “It’s really sad because you see someone you don’t know. He was saying things that were mean and disrespectful, but I had to remind myself that I’m not talking to Gucci.”

Her patience and discipline became his lifeline.

Kawir has learned that compassion sometimes means setting boundaries, managing his schedule, deleting social media, and protecting his peace from public scrutiny.

Gucci Mane’s journey toward recovery reached a critical turning point in 2020.

The world was engulfed in the COVID-19 pandemic, and isolation exacerbated its suffering. That year, he suffered a mental health episode that forced him to confront his condition head-on.

“After that, I was like, ‘Man, I’ve got to hold myself accountable and take care of my health,'” he said. “I never want to have an attack again. If I had to see a therapist, or if I had to take medication…I kind of threw in the towel and, like, do what I needed to do to get better.”

At the time, Ka’oir was pregnant with her son, and Gucci felt the weight of responsibility pressing down on her more than ever.

“I don’t want to raise a family and then lose my mental health. What if I have a seizure that I can’t come back from?” He said. “So I just started putting in the work, and started asking for help.”