Former Intel CEO Launches Gloo to Bring Back Jesus Christ

A person’s relationship with God is a very personal relationship, which poses a real problem for businesses because it is very difficult to monetize. Fortunately, former Intel CEO Patrick Gelsinger figured out how to build a faith-based technology stack that would do the important work of establishing a differentiated model between a person and their religion.

According to a report by The Guardian, Gelsinger is currently the CEO and CTO of Gloo, a company that offers AI-powered tools and platforms designed to reflect religious principles. The company offers two core products: an AI-powered chatbot that, according to The Guardian, uses existing large language models that have been fine-tuned to reflect the company’s preferred theological beliefs; and a workspace designed for use by churches and ministries to assist in pastoral work and ministry support. The company has reportedly served “more than 140,000 faith, ministry, and nonprofit leaders” with its solutions.

Gloo supposedly works with a variety of theological belief structures. The company’s platform can be customized so that “Lutherans can be good with it, Episcopalians can be good with it, Catholics can be good with it,” Gelsinger told The Guardian. [with it]The Assemblies of God can be good with it.

This is probably a good thing in itself, as there are all kinds of specialized AI tools, and everyone involved in the LLM game is either explicitly or implicitly building a product that reflects their views, whether it’s a Saudi company building a chatbot trained in Islamic culture and principles or Elon Musk Grok acting like MechaHitler. It’s generally not surprising that someone would try to get into the business of building a chatbot for believers.

But Gelsinger, a born-again Christian, has a lot to say about this project and what he hopes will come of it. According to The Guardian, Gelsinger said: “It was my mission in life [to] Working on a piece of technology that will improve the quality of life of every human being on the planet and hasten the coming of Christ’s return. Of course, the return of Christ would mean the end of humanity, which would not be great for every human being on the planet. Fortunately, Gelsinger’s attempts to hasten the Second Coming by selling churches on a chatbot subscription or something else are less likely to be a conduit to the end of time than those who predicted ecstatic TikTokers.

That doesn’t seem to stop Gelsinger from selling the idea hard. He said during a symposium that artificial intelligence represents “another Gutenberg moment,” and called on the church to quickly adopt and use this technology. “So my question today is: Are we going to hug? [and] Shaping AI as a technology that truly becomes a powerful embodiment and expression of the Church? He reportedly said.

People already talk to chatbots as if they were a god, or allow chatbots to convince them that they are a god themselves. Maybe it would be better for all of us who are still stuck on Earth until the Second Coming, not to lean too hard on it.