Jackson Hastings: St Helens star says mum’s death ‘fuels me to become better’ as he prepares for Super League return | Rugby League News

This year was supposed to be the best of Jackson Hastings’ life after he became a father in April when his daughter Scottie was born.

But just three months later his mother died, and since then he has been experiencing different emotions as he moves around the world without his mother.

Ahead of his return to the UK after signing for St Helens, he is determined to honor his mother throughout the rest of his rugby league career.

“She was only alive for three months of Scottie’s life, but it breaks your heart how much she loved her,” Hastings said.

“Obviously my football journey is about honoring my mum now, but it’s also about the rest of my life, just to make sure her legacy lives on.

“It’s hard to put into words. I think until you go through it you don’t really know how to deal with it, and no one has the right answers.”

“Controlling my anger is the only thing I need to work on because it’s not anyone else’s fault and I just want to be the best role model I can for other people who are going through a similar situation.”

In 2019 while playing for Salford Red Devils, Hastings was crowned Premier League Man of Steel. He returned to the NRL in 2022 after two years with Wigan.

Hastings talked about how his mother was his biggest supporter and the gratitude he has for the accomplishments he shared with her that his younger sisters would never have.

“I’m going through different waves of emotions, and the only emotion I’m experiencing is probably anger,” he said.

“There are a lot of things I’m angry about [my mum’s death] How did it all happen and things like that, which I don’t want to get into.

“I cherish the moments we had with her and how much she loved not only me but the whole family, and then my baby was everything to her.”

The last memory Hastings has of his mother is one that, although sad, also motivates him for the future.

About four days before her death, he called her via FaceTime and recalled how he thought “that’s not my mom” because she was always fit, healthy and happy and at the time seemed like “a shell of herself.”

“It’s sad because the last memory I have of her is the one that breaks your heart.” “But he also encourages me to be better,” Hastings said.

“I wouldn’t ask anyone else to be my mom, so if my kids look at me the same way I look at my mom, I know they’ll look at me with pride.”