Holly Madison Feels Her Undiagnosed Autism Led Her To Join Playboy

Former Playboy star Holly Madison She revealed that she had been diagnosed with high-functioning autism, bringing clarity to the lifelong social struggles she once attributed to her Alaskan upbringing.

She believes her undiagnosed autism made her vulnerable to it Hugh Hefnerwith whom she spent seven years at the Playboy Mansion.

When reflecting on their relationship, Holly Madison admitted she “hated” the group’s get-togethers but found private moments more normal.

Madison says her trip to the Playboy Mansion might have turned out differently if she had known she was autistic.

The 45-year-old former Playboy playmate revealed that she was officially diagnosed with high-functioning autism in 2023, a discovery that brought her a deep sense of clarity and relief rather than shock.

In an interview with Page sixMadison explained that she had “certain social and people difficulties,” but she always attributed them to growing up in isolation in a remote area of ​​Alaska.

It was not until years later, during her marriage to Pasquale Rotella, with whom she had two children, that the possibility of autism came into focus.

Rotella reportedly confided in Madison’s mother about the difficulties he had trying to connect emotionally with his wife.

In turn, her mother said that she had always suspected that there was “something off” about her daughter’s way of relating to the world.

After seven clinical evaluations, Madison finally received confirmation that she was on the autism spectrum.

Looking back, Madison believes her undiagnosed autism may have made her more vulnerable in her early 20s, and led her to “fall in love” with Playboy founder Hugh Hefner, who was more than 50 years older than her.

She spent seven years living in the Playboy Mansion alongside several other women, where Hefner was known to expect a continuing intimate relationship.

Reflecting on this chapter of her life, she explained, “I feel like the difficulty I had in connecting with people for so long made me feel like when I was meeting someone who was older and more experienced and maybe a little better at manipulating people, I thought, ‘Oh, wow, maybe I was meant to be with an older man.’ Maybe this is it.’ I just felt love.”

She added that her diagnosis helps her better understand her mindset and motivations during that period.

“It certainly sheds some light on where my feelings and motives were and why I had certain impressions about things,” Madison noted.

Although she insists she has no regrets about her experiences, Madison admits that learning about her autism earlier on may have changed the way she dealt with certain situations.

Today, as co-host of “Girls Next Level,” she sees her diagnosis as an “interesting” and important part of her personal story.

Later this month, the “The Girls Next Door” alumna will make her first public appearance since sharing her diagnosis, serving as an event ambassador at the 2025 Grant a Gift Gala in Las Vegas.

The annual fundraiser supports children and youth with autism and other neurodevelopmental disorders by providing access to vital resources and care.

Despite her fame, Madison describes herself as an introvert and a person by nature. However, after learning of her diagnosis, she felt a strong sense of responsibility to use her platform to speak out and help break down stereotypes, fight stigma, and advocate for better services for those on the spectrum.

Earlier in May, Holly Madison reconsidered her relationship with Playboy founder Hefner, candidly admitting that she “hated” the group sexual encounters that often occurred at the Playboy Mansion.

Speaking on the In Your Dreams podcast with host Owen Thiel, the 45-year-old offered a candid look at what really happened behind closed doors during her years as one of Hefner’s girlfriends.

“It’s a completely different story between when we were alone versus with everyone else in the room,” she explained. “No, everyone in the room, that was disgusting. I hated it. I made it clear I hated it.”

Despite their 53-year age difference, Madison said the intimacy between her and Hefner felt surprisingly “normal” when private.