‘Stuck in a downward spiral’: NRI’s emotional Reddit post on returning to India goes viral, netizens react

A detailed Reddit post by a 33-year-old software engineer has opened up a broader conversation about the emotional and lifestyle challenges faced by many returning NRIs. The original poster (OP), who spent seven years working in the US before recently returning to India, described how the move led to a decline in his overall health, energy and motivation.

He said he “wondered if I should take a break from work,” explaining that the life he built abroad — filled with hiking, sports and outdoor activities — faded after he returned home. Without these routines, he gained weight, felt bored, and had low energy. He wrote that he had lost “most of the health progress” he had made in the United States.

Although his financial situation is relatively stable due to his income abroad, he still feels behind his peers. He said his savings are nowhere near what he thinks he will need for long-term security. He estimates he would need “two or three times” what he currently needs to even think about retirement planning.

Despite having a remote, flexible and not very stressful job, he said he feels disconnected from his work and unable to find motivation. He wrote that the days go by quickly, and yet he doesn’t feel like he’s doing anything meaningful — not hobbies, not exercising, not anything that could improve his health or enrich his life.

He has also spoken about his long-standing desire to start something of his own. But being an introvert, having few professional connections, and not knowing where to start held him back. He believes he has strong skills but feels stuck at the starting line.

Adding to the emotional burden is the fact that he recently got married. Although he and his partner don’t have children yet, he said they struggle to spend quality time together because of everything else weighing on their minds. He admitted that the general feeling was that it had “become boring”.

The post quickly attracted attention, with Reddit users responding with a mix of realism, sympathy, and direct advice.

One commentator noted that this struggle is less about geography and more about adulthood itself: “In your 30s and 40s, free time is not abundant. Chores and responsibilities grow and consume your time, no matter where you are (the US or India). People often think that because you can get domestic help in India, you will have free time or energy. But this is consumed in other ways (dealing with the mundane frictions of daily life).”

Another user encouraged him to break out of the cycle of overthinking and comparison, writing, “Too much planning for the future, too much overthinking. Life is unpredictable my friend. One accident and a puff – life is over. Learn to enjoy the moment now, stop thinking ‘how much is enough for a secure future’. All the comparisons, all the doubts – many people don’t even have the privileges you have. Be happy with that and start living.”

A third user said the issue was not about India versus the US, but the emotional slump the poster was in: “This has nothing to do with living in the US or India! This is a real case of being stuck in a downward spiral. Start exercising again, start doing your hobbies. Things will be better soon! If you can’t, plan to spend quality time with your partner.”